After 17 hrs in air and about a zillion air-plane meals later, I had reached Mumbai International Airport. They feed you and put you to sleep. It’s a baby’s life. Only that you pay ~$1200 for it. Anyways, I get up for the first time in 8.5 hrs and feel the urge to limp the mule….drain the lizard. Among the plush convenience of a coach class window seat I had almost forgotten that I wanted to pee. I walk a mile after getting off the airplane until I reach the counters to clear immigration. A familiar feeling each time. Anxious to get out and smell the air. Its almost like being conscious all over again. A type of of longing that you never knew existed until you know you are just three steps away; i.e. immigration, baggage claim and customs. Always kicks in. As soon as I cleared immigration, I rushed to claim my baggage expecting a man in a light blue shirt and dark blue pants with chappals and undone hair to ask me if I needed any extra help in clearing customs and lord behold…guess what….It happened!! “Saab…..Customs clear karna ho to bolo” (Sir…please let me know if you need any help clearing customs). Finally……I had reached home! Among my people. Never once in my last four trips had this not happened. It would have been weird had I not been approached by one of the airport personnel.
I walked out of the airport and met a dozen cabbies/junta who were willing to offer me all the help I could receive from a stranger. Luckily, I am still brown enough. Imagine the plight of three phirangis (whites). They were hounded by industrious entrepreneurs who did a savage dance of all sales, they had to offer, around them. Pani, chai, hotel, driver, rokda (Indian currency), city guide, tour guide, etc. The phirangis were so aware of their surroundings that actually did not even dare to speak to each other until their pick up had arrived. I wonder whether the Lonely Planet for India has a chapter dedicated to to topic - ‘How to behave when you wait for your pick-up?’ That was the first time I saw them smile in the past 30 minutes. Well, I was going to get picked up at the airport and the Swiss somehow are really serious when it comes to time. No wonder they make the best darn watches. Anyways, the flight had arrived ~30 mins before schedule. So, I chose to not call anyone, but just wait outside the airport and watch. Just watch the people. I figured, I have 30 mins to adjust myself before my family starts calling me an NRI.
I lean forward on my baggage trolly and started observing around. And I find atleast one common theme. The cabbie, rickshawala, panwallahs, pani wali bai, phone wala ladka, chai wala chotu, hot mumbai gals who had just arrived on a tiring 1.5 hour domestic flight, as well as all the young and the middle aged were all hooked on to a little device called the Cellphone. You are better off calling a shopkeeper even though you may be standing right in front of him. He’ll probably pay more attention to what you have to say. Missed calls ringing at the speed of light. Young kids were SMSing the problems of the world away, despite being just a foot or two away from the sender and recipient of that aid. Everyone was punching the freakin‘ 1×2 inch keypad into oblivion….and that too….with two hands!!!! That was it. It was almost as if I was missing an organ. I was compelled to open the flap of my laptop bag and bring out my out-of-date samsung slider. I powered it up despite knowing it wouldn’t work. I am sorry…I was compelled to do so. Technology has clearly overtaken civility by a few thousand miles. Anyways, it was pretty entertaining in my brain. I knew that if I could laugh at it now, I wasn’t going to be a fish out of water for the next three weeks.
It really is about watching the people, feeling the humidity, smelling pav-vada, looking at cars and wondering how can six people fit in a Maruti 800, talking in hindi, thinking in gujarati, yellow stree-lamps, big hoardings, fancy buildings, sipping on desi chai from the thela (tea padler), movie posters, dust and grime, temples on a chauraha (crossroads), traffic-blocked rotaries/intersections, zipping two wheelers, couples meeting on the side of the road, multiplex theatres + malls, john abraham look-alikes…..the feeling as soon as you spot mom in the crowd.”Aditya!!!!!!!! JSK beta (Jai Shri Krishna). Pahunchi gayo (Have you arrived fine)?” My stay at Mumbai is going to be 3 days long and I am looking forward to every minute of it.
Crap! Completely forgot…..I need to take a leak!
-Me
