Friend - Man, she is so cute + she serves coffee and that, Adi, makes her just irresistible.
Me - Dude, she probably gets paid $8 or $9/hr, a health insurance policy & a 401K to serve coffee. It doesn’t look like its her passion in life.

Me - She is cute, though..That I have to agree..Dost, I am just too coffee-starved at this point to understand your feelings..You are currently in the noise. Just order me something strong.
Friend - Okay, that I will, but what should i do? Should I just ask her out? What do you honestly think are my chances?

Me - (I was too groggy to be patient.) Just go ahead and marry her man. Whatever gets us off…….Ummmm..this line, I meant…just for clarity.
Friend - (He looks back at me as if I had just struck a the right chord)…U serious about the marriage thinge? That would be extreme, Adi. That’s just so out there man…I could never…I get weak in my knees just placing my order….At times, I have even ordered the wrong item. e.g. the God forsaken Pumpkin Loaf. I positively hate it from my guts but its the only thing that comes to my mind when she’s around. I just freeze up and can’t think of anything else.

Me - Interesting. Think about it, though - How bad could it be? What is the worst that could happen? She’ll refuse…she’ll laugh…you’ll feel embarrassed, probably cry, but atleast for that split moment you will have her attention. (What a crock of fresh bull!!!)

T (cute Sheila) - Can I help the next in line, please?
T (cute Sheila) - Hi, what would you like to have today, Sir?
Friend - Hi! Ummmm…..A tall non-fat regular coffee with 1 sugar
T (cute sheila) - Should I leave some room?
Friend - Yes, please.
T (cute sheila) - Okay - anything else?
Friend - Ummm…aaaaaa pumpkin loaf…

T (cute Sheila) - Anything else?
Friend - Nope. That’s it!
T (cute Sheila) - That’ll be $6.20.

Friend - Actually yes….there’s one more thing…She looks at him with a smile expecting the next order…He reaches out for the wrong pocket….
Friend - I don’t have any money…but I do have this…and he very smoothly slid a little velvet box in blue over the counter….Yes, people, He proposed! Can you imagine the shock on my sleepy morning face? And in my head I went - HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! Is this human being for real or am I dreaming??

T (cute Sheila) - (She looked at him as if he had just been discharged from a mental institution.) “Are you crazy?”
Friend - No, I am not! I have decided you are the woman for me.
T (cute Sheila) - Well, first of all, a loud resounding NOOOOOOO to your offer, secondly you do not even know me, and thirdly, I have about 10 people waiting behind you so why don’t you just pay us what you owe and leave. On second thoughts, why don’t you just leave….

(Ouch! Fanny Slapped! This wasn’t pretty, but it was funny.)

Me - Jokes apart…My pants just dropped a couple of stops listening to him propose, over-the-counter, to a Caucasian girl who looked good in a cap and an apron. But hey, if everything was about logic, where was there a problem, huh?

Anyways, I refocused after a brain freeze. Shook my head like a brown bear in freezing water.

The rest of baristas turned around and gathered around the counter, but this guy, my dear friend, wasn’t going to be some helpless lamb in a butcher shop. The goal was fixed and the path was crystal. Meanwhile, I am laughing my head off. My presence wasn’t aiding the cause either and so I gracefully stepped away.

7 minutes later, he walks out of the café. We drive back. He isn’t talking and I ain’t asking, but how could I resist…so I asked…..”Aaaa…How did it go? She marrying you anytime soon?”

So, as it turns out, according to luvaah-boy, she surprisingly so, was in no mood to accept his proposal. Our team tried to bargain atleast a few dates, which then eventually came down to one date and a 5 minute conversation outside the café, which didn’t materialize either. We had lost out on all that we came there for. Even coffee wasn’t served. So, we basically settled (mandvaali) for *nothing* at the end of our escapade, but for our car keys, a healthy body, and about half an ounce of left-over dignity.

So much visiting Starbucks on Main Street anytime soon. They now know us more than we know ourselves. We were regulars up until now…Now, we were deranged regulars…But, this was one Monday, where even coffee could not have provided as much of a kick.

Hours later we had a healthy laugh over what happened in the morning, but this, sure as hell was one for the books! Monday - the most dreaded of all days, could not have been any better.

-Me

This entry was posted on Monday, August 13th, 2007 at 2:47 pm and is filed under namkeen, funny, humor, coffee, monday blues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.